How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
