Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize