In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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