U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
