She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
