A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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