she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
