im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
