when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i wish my penis had a tongue
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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