you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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