I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize