I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
