i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
