I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
