I hope mine doesn't look like that
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
