Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
