dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
