Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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