Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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