I have demons in me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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