Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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