I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize