i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
