Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
