just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Even my vagina gasped.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
