dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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