she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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