dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
