i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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