12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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