he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
