No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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