i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
