I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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