Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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