I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My feet surprised me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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