Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
