going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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