i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
