please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize