I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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