I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
