Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
