I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
