New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
