I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
