Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
