she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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