I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
