When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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