whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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