Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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