please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
