Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
