Define "chronic" masturbator.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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