Buhtt sex?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
