I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
