Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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