Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
