took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
